So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
