Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
