so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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