You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Sorry my hands just texted you
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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