ya dads aren't the best wingmen
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
