I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
It was a blind-side dick pic.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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