Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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