You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
