It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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