At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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