one two three fourrrrnication!
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Are my feet made of real feet?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
