Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
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