In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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