I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
