Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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