I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
