We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Randomize
