if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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