What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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