She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
