I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
