I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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