shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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