spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
