pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
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