We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
