just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize