I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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