It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
