I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
