she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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