Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
