im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
