WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
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