i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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