so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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