Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
