Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
only you would photoshop your dick
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
