I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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