highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize