Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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