Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
