I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
We are two peas in an std pod
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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