But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
