Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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