He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
