hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize