if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
