she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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