yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
this boner is exhausting
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
