Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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