I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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