Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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