Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
