Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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