Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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