dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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