I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize