took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I just cut my nipple shaving
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize