I think my vagina is haunted
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
